Hodges: It's my lucky day.

Hodges (on seeing Greg covered in spaghetti sauce): Some garlic bread, some nice Chianti maybe?
Greg: Kiss my ass. I'd like to see you crawl around a dumpster, determining the difference between blood and marinara sauce, with six mobster goons giving you the stink eye.

Henry: I say we go metaphoric. Hypocrisy?
Wendy: Yeah, I get it. There's Izzy the vegan eating bacon, Penny the cigarette smoking cancer patient, Raymundo the churchgoing adulterer, and Barbara the over medicated shrink.
Hodges: Forget it. This is the United States of America! Hypocrisy is the new national anthem.